No, I'm not talking about the recent presidential elections or the debates over whether the government's attempts at "bailing out" the economy are a good idea or not. No, this strikes much closer to home. In fact, the conflict has even taken place within our homes. The conflict I am speaking of is the loyal Twilight lovers vs. non-Twilight lovers. (By Twilight lovers, I mean fans of books by Stephanie Meyers, not the time of day people, well, you know....)
The female gender, from teens to mature, married women, have fallen head-over-heels for one Edward Cullen; a dashing young vampire who has fallen for a young, teenage girl that he finds inexplicably irresistible. And I do mean irresistible because one moment he wants to drink deeply from her lips and the next he wants to bite her neck and drink even more deeply there. It is another literary tale of forbidden love and a teenage male who, after 108 years of being a teenager, still wrestles with impulse control around a teenage girl.
My wife happens to be one of those more mature women who have been smitten by Twilight-Fever. She read the books, which really surprised me since she was never a fan of vampires and werewolves. Quite the opposite, in fact. But she fell head-over-heels for Edward and his rock-hard abs that glisten and glitter in the sunlight. She even expressed to me at one point that she wished I was more adoring of her like Edward is of Bella. While I was tempted to joke that most married men are like Edward - one minute they want to kiss their wives, the next they want to kill them - but after nearly 13 years of marriage I have learned it is wiser to keep such comments to myself.
The reason I even bring up the topic of this undead, thirsty heartthrob is my wife came across a website last night in her search for all things Twilight that serves as a support service for men whose wives have fallen victim to the wooing ways of the Cullens. It is called Twilight Widowers Anonymous* and it is hilarious. It offers everything from tips on handling the Twilight-obsessed to encouraging, motivational posters such as the one below to get you through your own personal ordeal.
The post that had both my wife and I roaring with laughter was My Lame Obsession Could Totally Beat Up Your Lame Obsession where the author pits ten icons that men have obsessed over through the 70's, 80's and 90's against Edward Cullen in a knock-down, drag out fight and evaluates who would win. I laughed so hard it hurt over the verdict of Edward vs. Optimus Prime.
It doesn't matter if you constantly return to the "Twilight Zone" as often as you can or if you tend to "zone out" whenever someone brings up Mr. Rock-Hard, Sparkle-Butt, you will get a kick out of this blog.
*If you do go to the Twilight Widowers Anonymous blog, be forewarned that there is some inappropriate language and an occasional inappropriate reference. Rated PG-13 for lack of original language and imagery.
