The Path to Perfection

I don't know if anyone still follows this blog seeing as how I haven't posted in over 15 months, but my wife and I had some interesting thoughts and insights into the topic of New Year's Resolutions and I wanted to share them with any that may stumble back this way.

I don’t know if you are into setting resolutions or not. I know many people have given up on the practice due to past frustrations. Personally, I believe they are an important practice due to the commandment the Savior gave us when he said: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matt. 5:48). The thought of even attempting to be perfect can be an overwhelming one, but the translation of the Greek word for perfect means “complete, finished, fully developed.” To me, that means we should do our best to become the best person we can be; our version of perfect. How then can we become perfect, or more like our Heavenly Father except by continually setting and working towards resolutions or goals that can help us become so?

As I was thinking about making resolutions, I realized it is very much like the conversion process of faith, repentance, baptism and enduring to the end.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said "Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come' (Hebrews 9:11)." (The best Is Yet to Be, Ensign, January 2010) So to me, faith is the forward-looking principle that we can be and do better than we have been or done in the past.

Repentance is the change of heart we must experience to let go of our poor habits in order to replace them with better, more Christ-like habits that will serve and strengthen us.

Baptism is making a commitment to a new life. As you are buried in the water, you bury the old you and all the sins you have committed. When you rise up out of the water, you come up a new person committed to living the commandments and following the Savior. Like baptism, setting a resolution is burying the old you of yester-year and committing to arise a new and better person in the New Year.

Enduring to the end is pretty self-explanatory. Just like living the gospel is full of challenges and temptations, so is living your new resolution. It will take daily discipline, and, more than likely, frequent repentance at first as you work to continually improve until your resolution has become a habit; a new way of life. Jim Rohn taught that there are two kinds of pain: discipline and regret. The difference between the two is that discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Don’t get discouraged and hang in there when times get tough and you will overcome in the end.

Each week we take the sacrament to renew our baptismal covenants. By doing so we are reminded of the commitment that we have made to follow the Savior and to keep his commandments. I recommend that you read your resolutions on a weekly, if not daily, basis and renew your commitment to them. This will help you to always remember them and stay true to them when you face the daily decisions of life.

Gordon B. Hinckley issued the challenge when he said: "This is a time to make resolutions that will be binding upon you." I hope everyone who reads this will take up the challenge to make 2012 their best year yet by setting resolutions that they are committed to that will help them be better and do better than they have ever done before. I wish you the best in this New Year!

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For more tips on how to make and keep your New Year's Resolutions, I invite you to visit The Millionaire Marathon blog and read the Celebrate 2008 blog series.

Don't We All?

I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work.

Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don’t want to be bothered. This was one of those “don’t want to be bothered times.”

“I hope he doesn’t ask me for any money,” I thought.

He didn’t.

He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn’t look like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.

After a few minutes he spoke.

“That’s a very pretty car,” he said.

He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard kept more than his face warm. I said, “thanks,” and continued wiping off my car.

He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came.

As the silence between us widened something inside said, “ask him if he needs any help.” I was sure that he would say “yes” but I held true to the inner voice.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments.

I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.

“Don’t we all?” he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun.

Don’t we all?

I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day. Those three little words still ring true.

No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.

Even if it’s just a compliment, you can give that.

You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don’t have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.

Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that.

Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves.

Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, “go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help.”

Don’t we all?

-Author Unknown

The Best Treat of the Week

My boys were unusually quiet and well-behaved in church yesterday which afforded me the rare moment of quiet reflection while taking the sacrament instead of the usual crowd control efforts to keep my youngest two from disturbing everyone that was unfortunate enough to sit near us. I had just taken the bread and passed the tray down the row when my three-year-old, who was sitting on the far side of my wife suddenly pops up his head and says semi-loudly, "Treat!"

After sharing a smile with my wife, I settled back into my thoughts and was suddenly struck by how right my youngest child was. It was a treat to take the sacrament! It is the one time of the week when I get to renew my baptismal covenants with the Lord to take upon myself the name of Christ, to always remember Him, to keep the commandments and serve the Lord until the end. And in return, the Lord renews his covenant with me to forgive me of my sins as I repent of them and to bless me with the companionship of the Holy Ghost. What greater treat is there than that?

I have been guilty on many occasions of taking the sacrament without much thought of how sacred and important that act is. I am thankful to my youngest for that reminder of what a treat it really is. I hope that the next time any of you are about to take the sacrament, in whatever congregation you may find yourselves in, will smile and think to yourselves, "Treat!"

My Wife ROCKS!!!

For those of you that know my wife, I am sure that many of you are well acquainted with how awesome she is. If you don't think of her that way, then you really don't know her because she really is amazing. I definitely married well above myself when I convinced her to marry me after much begging and pleading.

The reason I feel the need to shout her praises from the rooftops today is because she is a brand new...

Mary Kay Director!!!
This has been a goal for her for a couple of years now and she finally did it! It was an uphill battle to get it done, but she did it in two months rather than the four that they allow you and I couldn't be more proud of her.


For all of you who have supported her through the years by being a client or even just a cheerleader, I thank you for your contributions. To all the amazing women who are a part of her team, you ladies are the best and I look forward to seeing you accomplish equally amazing goals and more!

Everyone who comes across this post, whether you know her or not, I encourage you to stop by her blog and leave a comment with your congratulations as well.

Who Do You Think You Are?

I was reading a book today that really made me think about my life and the way I live it. It caused me to think about the way I think about and treat others, the way I think of and treat myself and the decisions I make each day. I have considered my life in these terms, but for some reason it really struck me today. So, I just want to throw it out there for any who comes across this to ponder and reflect on and hopefully to share further with others:

How do you see yourself?

As a human being having an occasional spiritual experience?

... or ...

As an infinite spiritual being having a temporary human experience?

Think about it for a moment. The way you answer this question makes all the difference in the world!

A Christmas Classic

In 1897, Dr. Philip O’Hanlon, a coroner's assistant on Manhattan's Upper West Side, was asked by his then eight-year-old daughter, Virginia, whether Santa Claus really existed. Virginia had begun to doubt there was a Santa Claus, because her friends had told her that he did not exist.

Dr. O’Hanlon suggested she write to The New York Sun, a prominent New York City newspaper at the time, assuring her that "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Here is the response to her inquiry which has become a Christmas classic:

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Choose To Live!

Unless you have had your head buried in the sand, I am sure that you have heard many debates over whether or not the U.S. was in a recession or not. Some said "Yes" while others didn't want to give it a stronger term than an "economic slowdown". The whole debate has served well to sell many newspapers and magazines and to drive people's stress levels up. Add to that the bank failures, home foreclosures and an unprecedented bailout plan that is going to cost the American taxpayers $700 billion and stress levels climb higher and higher. So, when the newspaper headlines officially announced that our great nation was in a recession, it was somewhat of a relief. At least now we can end the debate and get on with our lives.

Let me ask you a question, though. How did you feel when you read the newspaper or clicked on CNN this morning? Did it add to your stress and grumpiness or did you find something positive in it? When I read the official pronouncement of a recession, it didn't change my day one bit. Do you want to know why? Because my situation hasn't changed one bit. I still have a loving wife and wonderful kids. I still have my health and vitality. I still have a job that provides the majority of my income and a side job to supplement it; not to mention a recession-proof business that is endorsed by one of the wealthiest businessmen in the world. I still have my home and other comforts and conveniences that make life easier for me. I still have friends and acquaintances that I get to associate with. Life is still good!

I realize that not everybody has these things and there are people that are losing their jobs and their homes every day. It is an unfortunate situation that has caused a lot of people to become a victim of their circumstances and take a dismal view of life. But there are a few, a select few, who appreciate those things that really matter the most in life and choose a better outlook.

The following is a story that I have always loved which illustrates how we can choose to really live our life each day:

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant.

The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'"

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Happiness isn't a booming economy, a home or a job - it is a choice. I hope each of you are choosing to live your life rather than allowing yourself to be victimized by your circumstances and allowing your life to pass you by because you are too busy grumbling about the recession and looking for someone to blame for it. (For more on who is really responsible for a recession, read my post "Are You In A Recession? I'm Not!" on The Millionaire Marathon Blog.) Find something good to focus on in each and every day rather than focusing on the bad. And once we have improved ourselves inwardly, we can change our circumstances for the better as well.

Choose to live today and every day to its fullest!

What to do when you feel powerless...

Chuck Noland: We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'Cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over nothing. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

Castaway

My Memory Bank

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

"That doesn' t have anything to do with it," he replied.

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

"It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Let's Be Foolish

Kurt Godel: I would rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.

I.Q.

Since the production of The Secret in 2006, the Law of Attraction (LOA) has been a hot topic on talk shows, in articles and among friends and family all over the world. LOA, in its most basic form, says that we attract into our lives that which we focus on. If your focus is primarily on how terrible your life is, you will attract terrible experiences to you. If you focus on how great each and every day is, you will attract great experiences each and every day.

I don't know what your personal take is on LOA, but I am a believer in it. That is one reason why the quote above me describes my personal philosophy so perfectly. I would rather think optimistic and happy thoughts and be considered a fool by the general populace than be a grumpy, bitter pessimist waiting for that moment when I can shout to the world, "See? I told you! The world is going to H - E - Double Hockey Sticks in a handbasket just like I told you it would!" Do you really want to live your life like that?

I love being an optimist!

• Being optimistic makes me excited to get up every morning just so I can see what wonders and miracles are in store for me that day.

• A pessimist hates having to wake up to another dreary, disappointing morning.

• As an optimist I am more aware of and constantly looking for beautiful things that I may encounter throughout the day that add to my joy of living.

• Pessimists see the litter and garbage.

• My optimistic nature opens me up to look for opportunties to improve my life and the lives of those around me.

• The pessimists can't see any hope for improvement and constantly reaffirm how bad things are.

• Optimists are more ready to take risks and, win or lose, learn and grow by the experience.

• Pessimists don't dare take the risk because it will never work out.

• Optimists say, "I can do it!"

• Pessimists say, "I don't stand a chance."

There are many more ways we could illustrate the differences between optimists and pessimists. But each and every example points out how pessimists miss out on the joys of life. You don't want that, do you?

Come on! Let's be foolish!

Beating Back Adversity

Hardy Greaves: [Talking about his father] He's sweeping streets, Junuh, in the middle of Savannah where everybody can see him; me, my friends and everybody.

Rannulph Junuh: You feeling sorry because your daddy sweeps streets?

Hardy Greaves: He ain't the only man who can't get work. Wilbur's dad can't neither. But he says he'd rather do nothing than something beneath his dignity.

Rannulph Junuh: Grow up Hardy!

Hardy Greaves: It ain't time for me to grow up, Mr. Junuh.

Rannulph Junuh: You're daddy is out sweeping streets because he took every last dime he had, and used it to pay up every man and woman he owed and every business who worked for him, instead of declaring bankruptcy like everyone else in town, including your best friend Wilbur Charles' dad, Raymond, which is why he's able to sit around all day long on his dignity! You're daddy stared adversity in the eye, Hardy. And he beat it back with a broom.

The Legend of Bagger Vance

My wife may not like me sharing this with you as it is a personal and emotional issue, but there was a time in the not-so-distant past where our family had fallen on hard times. Bad financial decisions in the early years of our marriage compounded by a plethora of medical problems that struck our small family all within in a few short years left us deep in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. I worked for a small construction company for seven years, staying loyal and working hard in hopes that as we improved the financial standing of the business our personal financial standing would improve as well. In six year's time, the business did grow and improve significantly and enormous bonus checks were given to a couple of "favorite" employees while we were given the smallest bonus check of all (2.5 times smaller than the boss's son's friend that had only been there for a few months). I stayed on another year until the bonus situation repeated itself and I decided to go somewhere where loyalty and hard work were both appreciated and rewarded. Unfortunately, the damage was already done.

Shortly after I had switched jobs, we quickly realized that our bills were burying us. With our families in similar financial situations but with fewer dependants, we were unable to call on any of them for help. We set up an appointment to visit with Consumer Credit Services to find out if they could see some possibilities that we were blind to. The people there were very nice and understanding, reassuring us that they would see if they could help us set up a plan to weather the storm. Unfortunately, once we laid out all the details, their only recommendation was the only one that neither of us wanted: bankruptcy!

My poor wife, already severely stressed out by the situation as it was, started to tear up as the counselor outlined our bankruptcy options and how we would need to proceed. I, on the other hand, felt myself strangely detached from the situation. It was almost as if I were watching and listening the meeting from a distance. A strong feeling of peace flowed into me. And through that spiritual experience I received a reassurance that we were going to be just fine.

While the counselor continued to explain things to my wife, my mind started to race and I quickly formulated a plan of my own. The details fell into place quickly and I sat through the rest of the appointment just smiling politely at the counselor. I thanked her at the end and told her we needed some time to discuss what we were going to do before we acted, which she understood (although not in the way that I intended), and I ushered my tearful wife out of the office.

In the parking lot I tried to console my wife and let her know what had just happened, detailing the basics of the plan that I had just formulated. Understandably, she was still overwhelmed by what she had just heard and didn't see the hope that I felt. She pointed out that a professional financial counselor just told us our only option was to declare bankruptcy - what hope was there to be had? I simply told her that the counselor only knew statistics and numbers - she did not know us!

That evening, I laid out my plan in greater detail and discussed it with her. She started to see the possibility and decided to trust me and put her faith in us. To make a long story short (I know - it's too late), we plugged the money pit within a couple of weeks, leveled our financial situation out in two months, and within six months had a couple thousand dollars in the bank and were making good progress on paying down our debts.

Like Hardy's father, I believe strongly in paying my debts. If I dig a hole, I don't expect someone else to come behind me and fill it in. I believe in the Golden Rule. I wouldn't like it if someone didn't pay back money that I had loaned to them, so why wouldn't I pay back the money someone loaned to me?

Hardy's father beat his adversity back with a broom. I beat mine back with a newspaper.

Keep coming back and I will tell you more about that.

Inspired Scripture Reading

Have you ever heard the story of the man who was having a difficult time in his life and decided to look for an answer in the Bible? He decided that he would close his eyes, open upon the scriptures, stick his finger in the book, read the verse that his finger touched and do whatever the verse said to do. What can be more inspired than that? Well, when he opened the book and blindly selected a verse, he read:

"And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself."
~ Matthew 27:5

Somewhat shaken by this, he quickly determined that he needed a better course of action than that. So he decided to give it one more shot. He closed his eyes, opened the book again, stuck his finger in and read the following verse:

"...Go, and do thou likewise."
~ Luke 10:37

My wife and I had a similar experience last night. We were headed to bed a little later than I had planned, but my wife was feeling very amorous. As she made her intentions quite clear, I had to gently refuse as I was going to be getting less than five hours of sleep and I was already pretty run down. She understood and we decided we had better read scriptures and pray really quick so I could get some rest.

I asked her if she had any favorite passages she would like to read that night and she didn't, so we decided to give the inspired method a shot, much like the man above. I happened to open up to the Book of Mormon and both of our eyes fell on the center of the exact same verse where we both read:

"...In the name of the Almighty God, I command you that ye touch me not...."
~ 1 Nephi 17:48

We both burst out into laughter at the timing of that "inspired" bit of scripture. We decided to tempt fate as the man above did and give it a second shot. Our results were far better than his:

"Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen."
~ Mosiah 5:15

Whatever You Do ... Don't Try!

Morpheus: What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.

The Matrix

This quote is closely tied to something I was blogging about yesterday on my blog for The Millionaire Marathon. In this scene, Neo has just "downloaded" a number of martial arts programs and Morpheus is sparring with him in a secure program patterned after the matrix to see how good Neo is and to teach him more about himself and the actual matrix. No matter how hard Neo fights, he just can't seem to get past Morpheus's defenses.

It may seem like Morpheus is taunting Neo a bit, but he is actually trying to teach him a lesson we all need to understand. We have programmed ourselves to believe that there is a limit for each area of our lives. We are only so strong, only so fast, only so smart, only so capable, etc. And we have proved to ourselves that those limits are accurate by hitting them repeatedly and being stopped by those limits. And whenever we come up against something that lies beyond those limits, we try to accomplish it and fail in the attempt.

I went to a seminar once with my wife that was arranged by Mary Kay and the speaker said something that has always stuck with me. He pointed out that trying is simply failing with honor. When we are faced with something that seems outside our recognized limits, we try to do it so that when we do fail we at least have the honor of saying "I tried". We all need to take the advice of a short, green, muppet-like mentor who instructed us in a better way:

"Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
~ Yoda
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

The truth is that the limits never stopped us, we stopped ourselves - we quit - when we hit those limits. The only place those limits exist are in our minds. We are capable of doing far more on every level of our lives than we ever believed we could. All it takes is a little extra effort, a little more perseverence to improve just 1% or go 1 step beyond our previous limit. And if you do that once, you know you can do it again.

So whatever you are trying to do, stop trying and just do it!

A World-Changing Story

My last post reminded me of the following story. So here is a little bonus posting for you:


Love And The Cabbie

I was in New York the other day and rode with a friend in a taxi. When we got out, my friend said to the driver, "Thank you for the ride. You did a superb job of driving."

The taxi driver was stunned for a second. Then he said, "Are you a wise guy or something?"

"No, my dear man, and I'm not putting you on. I admire the way you keep cool in heavy traffic."

"Yeah," the driver said and drove off.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

I am trying to bring love back to New York," he said. "I believe it's the only thing that can save the city."

"How can one man save New York?"

"It's not one man. I believe I have made that taxi driver's day. Suppose he has 20 fares. He's going to be nice to those 20 fares because someone was nice to him. Those fares in turn will be kinder to their employees or shopkeepers or waiters or even their own families. Eventually the goodwill could spread to at least 1,000 people. Now that isn't bad, is it?"

"But you're depending on that taxi driver to pass your goodwill to others."

"I'm not depending on it," my friend said. "I'm aware that the system isn't foolproof so I might deal with ten different people today. If out of ten I can make three happy, then eventually I can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000 more."

"It sounds good on paper," I admitted, "but I'm not sure it words in practice."

"Nothing is lost if it doesn't. It didn't take any of my time to tell that man he was doing a good job. He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller tip. If it fell on deaf ears, so what? Tomorrow there will be another taxi driver I can try to make happy."

"You're some kind of a nut," I said.

"That shows how cynical you have become. I have made a study of this. The thing that seems to be lacking, besides money of course, for our postal employees, is that no one tells people who work for the post office what a good job they're doing."

"But they're not doing a good job."

"They're not doing a good job because they feel no one cares if they do or not. Why shouldn't someone say a kind word to them?"

We were walking past a structure in the process of being built and passed five workmen eating their lunch. My friend stopped. "That's a magnificent job you men have done. It must be difficult and dangerous work."

The workmen eyed my friend suspiciously.

"When will it be finished?"

"June," a man grunted.

"Ah. That really is impressive. You must all be very proud."

We walked away. I said to him, "I haven't seen anyone like you since The Man From LaMancha."

"When those men digest my words, they will feel better for it. Somehow the city will benefit from their happiness."

"But you can't do this all alone!" I protested. "You're just one man."

"The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Making people in the city become kind again is not an easy job, but if I can enlist other people in my campaign. . ."

"You just winked at a very plain-looking woman," I said.

"Yes, I know," he replied. "And if she's a schoolteacher, her class will be in for a fantastic day."

By Art Buchwald
from Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen

Sometimes The Simplest Idea Can Make The Biggest Difference

Trevor McKenney: I guess it's hard for people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they're bad - to change. 'Cause they kind of give up. And when they do, everybody kind of loses.

Pay It Forward

I love the concept of this movie. A young boy named Trevor and his classmates are challenged by their social studies teacher to come up with an idea that can change the world and act on it. The teacher does not really expect anything worthwhile to come out of this assignment, so imagine his surprise when Trevor actually comes up with a simple, yet brilliant idea.

Trevor comes up with the idea of doing three acts of kindness to other people. The recipients of these acts are not allowed to pay the giver back, but instead must pay it forward by doing three acts of kindness for others. The intention is to create an ever-expanding ripple effect of acts of kindness and good that eventually would encompass the entire world.

The quote above, however, illuminates the danger that we all must be wary of - apathy! Apathy is generally defined as the absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.

Have you ever had an idea that could effect change either in your personal world or the world beyond? Perhaps you had an idea to get out of debt, to lose weight, to develop a significant talent, to render service to others, to start a business, etc. Why didn't you act on it or, if you did act on it, why didn't you see it through to completion? I can almost guarantee it is because you lacked the passion, emotion and excitement to do so or you suppressed it by giving in to your fears.

Passionate people effect change. Dave Ramsey is passionate about helping people become more financially literate and sets them up with a plan and the principles to get them debt-free and financially secure.

Emotional people never give up when those emotions are channeled in the right direction. If you have ever watched The Biggest Loser on T.V., you become a witness to people making extreme weight changes because they have an emotional reason for doing so. And when the pain seems unbearable and the task impossible, they draw upon that emotion to push them through the worst so that they can achieve their best.

Excited people are contagious. Some might even say they are annoying, but that is only because somebody else is excited about something and the sound of it is intruding on their dull, dreary existence. But the extreme levels of excitement create a magnetic pull that sweeps people up and fills them with excitement for what is going on. Soak some excitement up and pass it on to someone else!

I think all of us should have a world-changing idea that we are acting on whether it is one that we came up with or somebody else thought of it first. It should be an idea that we can be passionate, emotional and excited about. Out of my concern for other people's financial well-being and a desire to increase my ability to give to others, I developed The Millionaire Marathon. I still believe it is a concept that will help change the world when it catches on. I am also working on another world-changing idea that I hope to share with you real soon.

Do you have an idea that you are currently acting on? If not, take the one from this movie and go and complete three acts of kindness and ask your recipients to pay it forward. Who knows - you may just change the world!

Today's Affirmation Is...

Ricky Hayman: Good. Better. Best. Never let it rest, 'til your good is Better and your better is BEST!

Holy Man

Be A Hero!

Henry Jackson: Hi, Peter!
Peter Parker: Hey, Henry! You've grown tall.
May Parker: You'll never guess who he wants to be... Spider-Man!
Peter Parker: Why?
May Parker: He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that, saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.


Spider-Man 2


If there is one thing that this world can use more of, it's heroes. We have plenty of celebrities these days setting great examples of sex, drugs and riotous living for our children to look up to. Athletes are more concerned over how many millions of dollars they will earn this year than their potential influence on today's youth. Not that I am saying all celebrities and athletes are like that. There are a few that I would consider heroes. There is just a significant amount of media attention given to those who set the worst example for our youth.

We need more heroes like Oprah who inspire people to live better. We need more heroes like Denzel Washington who sets a tremendous example of giving when he sees the value of a particular hospital and immediately writes out a personal check for the full amount to build another one.

But, most importantly, we need everyday heroes like you who sometimes must sacrifice grand dreams for the sake of being a steady provider for spouse and children. We need everyday heroes who sacrifice and give to worthy causes like the United Way, the Red Cross, St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital and similar organizations. We need everyday heroes who give more time and attention to their kids than they do to sports programs and sitcoms.

Be a hero!

Rise to the Occasion of Your Life

I started to watch a movie with my 4-year old son this weekend and, while we did not have time to watch to this point, this is one of my favorite quotes from the show....

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.
[pause, walks over to Molly]
Mr. Edward Magorium: I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.
Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.
[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]
Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.


Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

That last line "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." is a piece of advice we should reflect on every morning that we wake up to a new day. I was just thinking about this very thing last night before I drifted off to sleep. I know that I live my life well below what I am capable of. It is one of the reasons that I push myself so hard at the things I do and the sports I play. I am curious just how far I can go and how much I can do. And do you know what? I haven't found the limit yet.

If you know my wife, I am sure you will agree that she is an incredible woman. But if you knew her like I do, you would also know that she, too, lives well below what she is capable of. She has an incredible potential in her that is so under-tapped that when she does tap into it, even just a little bit, she accomplishes incredible and amazing things.

And I bet that, if you really and truly look at your life, you would agree that you live well below your level of potential as well.

Why do we do this? Why do we have those moments of greatness and then settle back into living lives of mediocrity? I believe part of this is that it is a little uncomfortable for us and for those around us when we live out there on the edge. It is uncomfortable for us because we are living outside of our comfort zone. And nobody likes to be uncomfortable, do they? So we pull back before we can realize that if we just stayed out there a little bit longer, our comfort zone would have expanded to encompass where we were at.

It is uncomfortable for those around us because, when one of us strays from the "herd" of mediocrity, we become an automatic outcast. We open ourselves to ridicule and criticism by those who hang back with the rest of the "herd". We become one of those "weirdos" that are different from most everyone else. And there are few that are strong enough and confident enough to openly admit that, while it is nice and comfortable within the safety of the "herd", the grass is definitely greener and lusher where the lone "stray" has moved to.

If you want to see the gap between where you are now and where you potential lies narrow, I recommend that you memorize and short little saying that my mentor, Mike Litman, taught to me:

"In life, you're either consistent, or you're non-existent!"

Whatever you want to improve in life, you must consistently strive to improve upon. Moments of greatness do nothing for you. One great day does not make a great life any more than one great shot makes someone an incredible basketball player. If you want to lose weight, you must consistently eat right and exercise every day. If you want to learn to play a musical instrument, you must pick it up and practice every day. If you want to have a more loving relationship with your spouse and kids, you must consistently express your love in words and deeds every day. There isn't anything that you want more or better where this universal truth does not apply. Consistency is key!

But in order to establish a life of consistent greatness, you have to get started.

Your life is an occasion. What are you going to do today to rise to it?

What Do You Think?

Centauri: Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History, Alex! Did Chris Columbus stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan: Who's Galoka?
Centauri: Never mind.
Alex Rogan: Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri: If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!

The Last Starfighter



While this was a somewhat "cheesy" movie, I really enjoyed it. It was fun, action-packed and carried a good message. Alex always dreamed of doing more with his life. He dreamed of life beyond the little trailer park community he lived in. I mean, their idea of excitement was everyone turning out to watch Alex break the high score on the Starfighter video game. That was a real life accomplishment in their book. And while that was exciting for Alex in itself, he dreamed of doing something more significant. Little did he know just how significant an opportunity he would get.

Never let a big opportunity in life pass you by because you think it is too big for who you are. That is something even I struggle with. I dream big dreams but then struggle to think of myself as more than what I am. Be big in life by thinking big. I'm not just talking about riches and celebrity status. Be a great parent by thinking of yourself as a great parent. Raise a significant amount of money for a charitable organization by thinking yourself able to do so. Inspire a child to reach great heights of athletic, artistic or musical achievement by thinking yourself a great teacher and/or motivator. Think of yourself as being more ... and you will be.

Here are some more quotes on how thoughts influence your life:

For as (a man) thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. -- James Allen

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.
-- Buddha

All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts.
-- James Allen

Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!
-- Og Mandino

Change your thoughts, and you change your world.
-- Norman Vincent Peale

Great thoughts reduced to practice become great acts.
-- William Hazlitt

I think and that is all that I am.
-- Wayne Dyer

If constructive thoughts are planted positive outcomes will be the result. Plant the seeds of failure and failure will follow.
-- Sidney Madwed

If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
-- Peace Pilgrim

Life consists in what a person is thinking of all day.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man is made or unmade by himself. By the right choice he ascends. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of his own thoughts, he holds the key to every situation.
-- James Allen

Nothing has any power over me other than that which I give it through my conscious thoughts.
-- Anthony Robbins

Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

Our life is what our thoughts make it. A man will find that as he alters his thoughts toward things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.
-- James Allen

Our minds become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds and these magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.
-- Napoleon Hill

Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus is the direction we tend to go.
-- Peter McWilliams

Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control what you think, you can't control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward.
-- Napoleon Hill

Some thoughts always find us young, and keep us so. Such a thought is the love of the universal and eternal beauty.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.
-- Florence Shinn

The human mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

The more clear and definite you make your picture then, and the more you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the stronger your desire will be, and the stronger your desire, the easier it will be to hold your mind fixed upon the picture of what you want.
-- Wallace D. Wattles

There is a basic law that like attracts like. Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results. Conversely, if a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully his positive thinking sets in motion creative forces - and success instead of eluding him flows toward him.
-- Norman Vincent Peale

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.
-- Napoleon Hill

Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.
-- Henry David Thoreau

To find yourself, think for yourself.
-- Socrates

To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.
-- James Allen

We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.
-- Buddha

We are what we think. All that we are arises With our thoughts. With our thoughts, We make our world.
-- Buddha

What is the hardest thing in the world? To think.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.
-- Buddha

What your heart thinks is great, is great. The soul's emphasis is always right.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
-- Author Unknown

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and your discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.
-- Patanjali

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.
-- James Allen

(I have the distinct honor of having a portion of this entry being quoted by Dr. Laura Markham as today's Quote of the Day at YourParentingSolutions.com.)

The Weathered Old Barn

The Weathered Old Barn
By: Author Unknown

A stranger came by the other day with an offer that set me to thinking. He wanted to buy the old barn that sits out by the highway. I told him right off he was crazy. He was a city type, you could tell by his clothes, his car, his hands, and the way he talked. He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn sitting out in the tall grass and wanted to know if it was for sale. I told him he had a funny idea of beauty.

Sure, it was a handsome building in its day. But then, there's been a lot of winters pass with their snow and ice and howling wind. The summer sun's beat down on that old barn till all the paint's gone, and the wood has turned silver gray. Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired. Yet, that fellow called it beautiful.

That set me to thinking. I walked out to the field and just stood there, gazing at that old barn. The stranger said he planned to use the lumber to line the walls of his den in a new country home he's building down the road. He said you couldn't get paint that beautiful. Only years of standing in the weather, bearing the storms and scorching sun, only that can produce beautiful barn wood.

It came to me then. We're a lot like that, you and I. Only it's on the inside that the beauty grows with us. Sure we turn silver gray too and lean a bit more than we did when we were young and full of sap. As the years pass we use the hard wealth of our lives, the dry spells and the stormy seasons, to do a job of beautifying our souls that nothing else can produce. And to think how often people complain because they want life easy, when it is because of the struggles we live through that we become the people we are.

Find peace with who you are and embrace the problems you come up against every day. You will only become more beautiful for it.