A Tribute

This was a post that I wanted to do last week, but, due to the craziness that life sometimes is, I never managed to get it done. I want to make up for that today.

I have been under the influence of some amazing people throughout my life. I have wonderful parents that raised and taught me the best they could. I have had wonderful school teachers that drove me and inspired me to achieve. I have had great sports coaches that taught me the fundamentals and instilled in me the drive to win (although my dad still claims full credit for everything I know on the basketball court). I have had incredible Christ-like examples in the church that taught me the meaning of faith, charity and service. I have had mentors and teachers in the areas of business and personal development that have inspired me to dream big and to go for the things that I want in life. I have had loving girlfriends (before I was married, of course), loyal friends, great coworkers and a number of acquaintances throughout my life. And all of these have made an incredible impact on my life and helped make me the man that I am today. But none of these, individually or collectively, have had near the impact and influence in my life than the incredible woman that I am proud to call my wife.

I met my wife at the end of August in 1996 at the church were a group of young single adults had gathered to play volleyball. I was usually one of the first to show up, but I came late that night for some reason. I was speaking to a friend of mine in the doorway to the gym when I noticed her out on the volleyball court. It wasn't because she was an incredible volleyball player (she is the first to admit that she is much more adept at dodging the ball than she is hitting it), but there was something about her that caught my attention. She wasn't the drop-dead gorgeous type, but she was adorable. I could see she loved to laugh and have fun and had the dazzling smile to prove it. Unfortunately, it was also apparent that she was not there alone.

I soon joined in the games and was having a good time, but after a while I needed some time alone to deal with some thoughts that were weighing on me. I slipped off into one of the rooms where there was a piano and "practiced" playing for a while (meaning plunking out the notes to the only three songs I ever taught myself). What I did not know at the time was that she had noticed me, too, and, after a while, noticed my absence. Under the guise of needing a drink of water, she went looking for me. She heard my feeble attempts at playing and peeked in the door wondering if I was the one at the keys when she promptly embarrassed the both of us - me by my finding out that someone was watching me play and her by my catching her watching me.

Surprisingly, she didn't run away (don't the beauties always run from the beasts at first?). She boldly walked in and introduced herself and we met for the first time. I quickly embarrassed myself for the second time that evening by forgetting her name (I swear it wasn't because I wasn't paying attention - I was just stunned by the fact that such a lovely young lady was speaking to me), but she happened to forget mine as well (which is okay because I am really not the memorable).

Nobody has ever accused me of moving too fast, so I didn't ask her out on a first date for a good week and a half (that is a great Law of Attraction story if you ever want to hear it). From that point on, we were nearly inseparable as we saw each other pretty much every day. A month and three days after our first date, I asked her to be my wife and amazingly she said, "Yes!" Then, on December 14, 1996, 3 months and 18 days from the day that I first set my eyes on this incredible woman, I married her in the Portland, Oregon temple for time and all eternity!

I couldn't have asked for a better wife than her. She is my best friend and partner in all things. She is a wonderful mother who has gone to death's door three times to bring three wonderful children into this world and nearly stepped through that door due to a pregnancy that would never come to fruition. She is one of the hardest working women that I know and is building an incredibly successful business that allows her to be home with her children through her efforts (most people don't realize how hard she works because she has so much fun doing it).

She is a loving and caring friend who attracts wonderful women to her (Yes, M.L., M.E., A.J., L.F. and K.W. - this means you). I have seen her shed tears over the loss of friends over what I believe to be petty jealousy and unfairly judgmental attitudes. My wife has a strong desire to do those things that are right, no matter how appealing the alternative may be. This has put her at odds unfortunately with those who get uncomfortable around her because they prefer to do what is easy or popular. It hurts her deeply; particularly when some of these women have ruined other relationships my wife has had with other women and even the possibility of a relationship through their mean-spirited gossip and ridicule. But I am extremely proud of my wife and how she has born these difficulties. It has never been easy for her, but she valiantly strives to emulate the Savior and show genuine Christ-like love to even those who have abused her in this way.

My wife loves to serve others. She is not an early riser, but she will drag herself out of bed to make me breakfast and pack me a lunch before I head off to work. When there is a friend or family member in need, she always puts herself forward to help when she is able and feels terrible when she is not able to do so. She sometimes volunteers to the point of overextending herself, but that is simply more evidence of her love for other people.

She also has somewhat of a daring and adventurous spirit. She recently took me on a vacation to a bed & breakfast (something she loves) in Hayden, ID which is right next to Silverwood (something I love). The whole trip was incredible! She consented to taking one trip on the Tremors roller coaster with me when roller coasters are REALLY NOT HER THING. She has a little bit of a fear of heights and sudden death by a car derailing at high speeds. But she went on it with me when I asked her to.

She later confessed that when she looked at the picture of the ride, she didn't realize how big it was because she didn't recognize over 50% of the track as being part of the ride. They take a picture about halfway through the ride and while everyone else looks like they are laughing and having a good time, she is the only one that looks genuinely terrified. She said it took everything in her to keep from breaking down and bawling when it was over and her legs were all weak and rubbery when she got off. She swears she will never step foot on a roller coaster like that again, but I am proud of her facing her fear like that and some of the other risks she took with me that day.

She is also a wonderful example of gratitude and appreciation. She just had a birthday on the 6th of this month (I know I am not supposed to reveal a woman's age so I will simply say that she is older than 20 and younger than ... 33) and the boys and I only bought her two simple gifts - a DVD and an IPod. I can't tell you how many times in the last four days that she has thanked us and expressed how much she loves her gifts, particularly the IPod (I learned through the examples of my parents the importance of listening when a woman expresses an interest in something - she mentioned the IPod months ago and she totally was not expecting it when her birthday came around. Surprise!).

She has become an amazing example of achievement and what is possible if you dedicate yourself to a goal and stick with it no matter how difficult or frustrating it may get. In the past year, she has lost over 60 pounds, something she has been struggling with for ten years now. It has done wonders for her self-esteem and her self-confidence to achieve such a major goal and that victory has translated into other areas of her life.

I could go on and on and on about how remarkable she is. But let me just finish this by saying that I love her dearly. In the past twelve years that I have known her and the nearly twelve years that I have been married to her, I have had the pleasure of watching her grow and develop from the wonderful woman she was back then to the marvelous woman she is today. And, in turn, she has helped me grow and develop as well. As amazing as it is and as impossible as it may seem, I love her more and more each and every day. She is much, much more than I ever would have dreamed of in a wife.


My friends, if you have read this post, I ask you to do me one simple favor. I want her to receive "Happy Birthday" wishes from all over the world. Wherever you are, near or far, please take a moment to click on her blog and on her last post (yes, I know she hasn't posted in two months now) leave her a comment. Wish her "Happy Birthday", remind her that her husband loves her very much and tell her what an amazing woman she is. She would love it and I would very much appreciate you doing this small kindness!