A Christmas Poem

Christmas Eve is finally here
And snow falls down in flurries
As I sit in my cubicle
While my wife's at home and worries.

There's much to wrap and prep and do
'Fore day darkens to night
And then still more to assemble
Before Christmas' dawning light.

It is no easy task to be
Santa's elves and aid-ers
When one is stuck at work all day
Pushing Yuletide tasks 'til laters.

But once I'm home and kids' in bed
We'll rush to get them done
And hope to get a few hour's rest
Before the morning fun.

Now if you find this story
Sounds a little bit like yours
Please heed this next advice
While wrapping up your chores.

The work you do this evening
Will quickly be undone
And may the gifts you chose with care
Bring hours of laughs and fun.

But there's a gift that's given
That's not among the wrapping
Please don't forget to think on it
Before you head to napping.

It is a gift of sacrifice,
Of unconditioned love;
'Tis the Savior's lowly birth,
A gift from God above.

So Remind yourselves and small ones
Of the gift that gave us reason
To follow suit and give our gifts
This holy Christmas season.

(An original poem by the Nice Guy)

Merry Christmas, everyone!

May you be reminded of
the true reason
for the season!

Writing Out a New Idea

I have been absent from the blogosphere these last couple of weeks as I have devoted my time, energy and focus to building my business with ACN. I have missed posting on my blog, but in those few moments I have had available over the last couple weeks where I could have posted something I struggled to come up with something of interest.

Last week I had a little time to visit one of my favorite sites, Writing.com, to see what has been going on in my absence. In my favorites folder I have a link to a writing contest called The Writer's Cramp where you are given a prompt and you have 24 hours to write a story of 1,000 words or less that fits the prompt and/or the requirements of the prompt. Thursday's prompt gave me a really good idea for a story, but I didn't have time to write it out for the contest.

The idea kept bouncing around in my brain until I sat down over the weekend and started pounding it out. It still needs some tweaking, but I liked what I put down. I shared it with my wife after I was done and, because I had written the ending in such a way as to leave it open for more, she was really curious as to what would come next. So we started tossing ideas back and forth about where it could lead and what could take place.

I have to laugh a little about the difference between my wife and I, though. While this first installment has tension and dramatic elements, I totally set it up for an action/adventure story. The first thing my wife says after telling me how good she thought what I had written was is that the main character needs a girl, that he needs to fall in love, and starts to outline how to make it a romance. I think I offended her a little bit when I laughed at that.

But that is what I love about my wife. She helps open my mind to aspects that I hadn't considered to reach a larger audience than what I would have reached on my own. Together, we came up with a really good character that can develop into a love interest for the main character without turning the story into a space-age Harlequin romance novel. She is a good strong character that will make a significant contribution to the story.

While developing the character, my wife initially pictured her as a green-eyed red-head, but we had to change her to a brunette for practical reasons and because another story I am working on already has a red-head. My wife has brown hair and green eyes so I told her that I would just pattern my character after her. She was a little unsure of that idea because she was afraid of seeing how I would describe her in print. "That's easy," I reassured her as we were fixing dinner. "She will be beautiful, strong, driven, capable, resourceful ... and she is always right ... at least in her mind." That last comment earned me an indignant punch in the arm. It is a good thing I waited until she put down the knife to throw in that last bit.

We have a lot of elements to the story put together, but we are still undecided on the main aspect of the overall plot. We agree that our main character will be trying to reveal some great secret or plot to break the antagonist's hold on the people, but we haven't decided yet what that will be. If you have seen the movie Serenity, elements of our plot are similar to theirs but we don't want to deal with populace-passifying drugs or Reavers.

I hope you will take a few minutes and read this first installment that I have given the simple title of Shore Leave and let me know what you think. Do you think the story has potential? Would you like to read more? What ideas do you have for the plot? What suggestions do you have for improving what has been written so far? I would love any feedback you can give me!

A Christmas Classic

In 1897, Dr. Philip O’Hanlon, a coroner's assistant on Manhattan's Upper West Side, was asked by his then eight-year-old daughter, Virginia, whether Santa Claus really existed. Virginia had begun to doubt there was a Santa Claus, because her friends had told her that he did not exist.

Dr. O’Hanlon suggested she write to The New York Sun, a prominent New York City newspaper at the time, assuring her that "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Here is the response to her inquiry which has become a Christmas classic:

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Terminated by the Tri-City Herald

I just wanted to post quickly to let any customers know that may visit that I am no longer delivering newspapers as I have been terminated by the Tri-City Herald as a substitute. The reasons given were both valid and ridiculous and my first inclination was to give you the whole truth about them and this situation, but I have decided not to. The reason for that decision is that I do not wish to turn my blog into a negative rant that will only stir up people further. I prefer a more positive focus that will hopefully bring light and joy to everybody's day.

So, farewell TCH customers. I am on to bigger and better things. I wish you all the best and hope that they will be able to find a suitable replacement for you as quickly as possible.

Choose To Live!

Unless you have had your head buried in the sand, I am sure that you have heard many debates over whether or not the U.S. was in a recession or not. Some said "Yes" while others didn't want to give it a stronger term than an "economic slowdown". The whole debate has served well to sell many newspapers and magazines and to drive people's stress levels up. Add to that the bank failures, home foreclosures and an unprecedented bailout plan that is going to cost the American taxpayers $700 billion and stress levels climb higher and higher. So, when the newspaper headlines officially announced that our great nation was in a recession, it was somewhat of a relief. At least now we can end the debate and get on with our lives.

Let me ask you a question, though. How did you feel when you read the newspaper or clicked on CNN this morning? Did it add to your stress and grumpiness or did you find something positive in it? When I read the official pronouncement of a recession, it didn't change my day one bit. Do you want to know why? Because my situation hasn't changed one bit. I still have a loving wife and wonderful kids. I still have my health and vitality. I still have a job that provides the majority of my income and a side job to supplement it; not to mention a recession-proof business that is endorsed by one of the wealthiest businessmen in the world. I still have my home and other comforts and conveniences that make life easier for me. I still have friends and acquaintances that I get to associate with. Life is still good!

I realize that not everybody has these things and there are people that are losing their jobs and their homes every day. It is an unfortunate situation that has caused a lot of people to become a victim of their circumstances and take a dismal view of life. But there are a few, a select few, who appreciate those things that really matter the most in life and choose a better outlook.

The following is a story that I have always loved which illustrates how we can choose to really live our life each day:

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant.

The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'"

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Happiness isn't a booming economy, a home or a job - it is a choice. I hope each of you are choosing to live your life rather than allowing yourself to be victimized by your circumstances and allowing your life to pass you by because you are too busy grumbling about the recession and looking for someone to blame for it. (For more on who is really responsible for a recession, read my post "Are You In A Recession? I'm Not!" on The Millionaire Marathon Blog.) Find something good to focus on in each and every day rather than focusing on the bad. And once we have improved ourselves inwardly, we can change our circumstances for the better as well.

Choose to live today and every day to its fullest!

YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT!

As many of you may have noticed, I have been MIA from the blogosphere for the past couple of weeks. The reason for that is because my time and attention has been focused on sharing with as many people as possible something that I am very excited about - a video phone!





We just recently ordered ours and let me tell you this is one cool piece of machinery that is going to change the telecommunications industry!

The main reason we decided to get it is because when I was growing up my extended family were spread throughout Idaho and Utah. It isn't very far from Washington but in my family it was only feasible for us to see them every other year. So every time we got together for family reunions it was like meeting them for the first time all over again. I sometimes did not even meet some of my cousins until they were two years old!

Now that we have all grown up and married, it has gotten worse and I want something different for my kids. My family and my friends have expanded all across the United States and we rarely get to see them at all. This is why we were so excited about this video phone. The coolest thing about it is its simplicity. It uses VoIP technology to work over your high-speed DSL connection to bring your friends and family right into your home. You can actually see each other in real-time while talking!

We did try a webcam several different times but found the quality of the images were low, the picture was slow and sometimes it was hard to hear what everyone was saying. So when we stumbled upon this video phone and its awesome features we were hooked. Right now the company is doing a promotion and you can get the video phone for FREE - yes, I said free - with a two year commitment to their service and that is why I am making sure to let everyone know!

This is how it works. The service is provided through a great company called ACN - it is currently the world's largest direct selling telecommunications provider. When you place your order for your video phone, you pay your first month's service fee of $29.99 (plus the applicable taxes), the shipping and handling to get your phone to you and a set-up fee to get you started. After that, you only pay the $29.99 per month plus tax for the service which gives you unlimited local and long-distance anywhere in the United States, Canada and Puerto Rico. This is often cheaper than what most people pay for their local and long-distance service without the pleasure of seeing their loved ones!

Some really cool features the phone has besides the fact that you can see the person you are talking to include:

• the screen can act as a digital photo frame when the phone is not in use (this is really cool because it costs you anywhere between $70 and $120 to get a digital photo frame this size from Costco)

• you can conference in up to four other people and see them all on the screen at the same time

• you can plug the phone into your television and project the image on the larger screen (which is awesome when you want to open Christmas gifts with family that does not live nearby!)

• you can leave video messages when you are unable to reach another video phone user

• it has an auto-light sensor to adjust the image for lighter and darker times of the day

• it has an enhanced phonebook

• it has all the features you would expect from a phone such as enhanced voice mail, call blasting, call waiting, caller ID, call forwarding, and more!

You can keep your same phone number with this phone by transferring it over, it has 911 capability, and you can plug the base of your current cordless phone handsets into the back of your video phone and they will still work throughout your home. This phone has it all!

Now I am sure some of you are thinking about those moments when you have just gotten out of the shower and the phone rings and are debating whether you want people to see you in all your dripping-wet glory. Don't worry. Simply hit the privacy button to deactivate the camera and you can still take the call.

If you haven't guessed I have also fallen in love with this amazing company and am currently working for them. So if you decide you want this phone for yourself you will also be helping our family out by being a customer! ACN is the only company that has this technology and they are only giving it away for free through November 30, 2008. After that, the price of the phone will be $99.95. So CLICK HERE to take advantage of the FREE offer today! Check it out and see if it's for you-we would love to see you face to face!

The Tri-City Herald Fails to Deliver

About Me

Allow me to start by taking a moment to welcome all the Tri-City Herald customers who have accepted my invitation to drop by this blog. By way of introduction, my name is Andy and I'm a 34 year old accountant from Kennewick who aspires to be a published author, a life coach and a nationally-recognized public speaker. I also aspire to create financial freedom for my family through the direct selling of telecommunications services as I work with the only company of its kind that is endorsed by Donald Trump.

I maintain this blog primarily to entertain people and inform them of an occasional event in my life. I also have a second blog called The Millionaire Marathon where I seek to teach, inspire and motivate people to really go for the things they want in life (even though I occasionally do the same on this blog as well).

I am married to a wonderful woman who is a Future Director in Mary Kay and is working hard to become a Mary Kay Director by January 1, 2009. Together, we have three growing boys of the ages 10, 5 and our youngest just turned 3 on Halloween.

I have done newspaper routes off and on (more off than on) since I was 10 years old. In my younger years I was Carrier of the Year two years straight when I was 14 and 15 and I am fairly certain I would have won the award three years in a row if I hadn't quit the routes to work at KFC. My wife laughs when people from routes I had 20 years ago recognize me in the grocery store and tell me that, even to this day, I was the best newspaper carrier they ever had.

I started delivering newspapers again at the start of this year to work through a period of financial difficulty and to pay off some debts. We have long since cleared that period but I elected to stay on as a substitute carrier as I enjoy having the extra cash to put towards our family goal of becoming completely debt-free, to splurge on the occasional family adventure, and for the exercise I get as I work.

I am currently servicing approximately 435 customers over seven different routes, but those numbers tend to change nearly every week. I try and start the first route between 2-3 a.m. and I keep a good hard pace to get it all done by 5:30 a.m. to allow me time to play some basketball with my friends before work every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and to hit the Court Club for an hour of weightlifting on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. There are some days when the long days and short nights catch up with me and I need a little extra rest. On those days, I settle for just getting up with enough time to get the newspapers out by the deadline.

How the Tri-City Herald Fails to Deliver

I have invited Tri-City Herald customers to read this post to give them an understanding of the delivery issues that are affecting them as paying customers. They fall under three major categories:

1. Failure to Deliver Quality Carriers

The reason I am currently delivering your newspaper instead of a regular carrier is because of a combination of factors:

Size - Most of the routes I deliver cover large areas with sizeable gaps between customers. This makes for long delivery times compared to routes where the customers are closer together and the routes smaller in area. An example of this is that I had two routes earlier this year located side by side where I could deliver to 100 customers in only 20 minutes time where more recently I covered one route that covers twice the area of those two routes and it takes me 25 minutes to deliver to only 45 customers.

Difficulty - A lot of the routes that I get assigned to are hard on the body and the vehicle. I was recently delivering a number of routes in the south hills of the Canyon Lakes area which meant lots of running up and down steep driveways and stairways and across large lawns. Terrain isn't the only difficulty though. Every route faces the difficulty of Sunday delivery. You have seen the size of your Sunday paper combined with the additional ads. Multiply that size and weight by anywhere from 30-80 and imagine one person trying to carry that and deliver on foot. It can't be done without making multiple, time-consuming trips or by having someone drive you. And many parents these days are either unwilling or unable to drive their kids around on Sundays - especially considering the gas prices over the past year.

Low Pay - I was delivering one route for several months this past summer as they could not seem to find anyone willing to stick with it for such a small amount of money. This is why I take on so many routes and keep such a fast pace while delivering. Although I drive my car to deliver, some of you have seen me in the early hours jumping out of the car and racing from house to house, throwing papers as I go (my apologies if I have woken you with a poorly thrown newspaper). That isn't so much to keep me slim and trim as it is me trying to maintain an average of at least $20 an hour to make the delivery worth my time.

Changing Attitudes - It used to be that newspaper routes were delivered primarily by kids and young teenagers, but that is not the case any more. It is partly because it is hard to find reliable kids that are willing to work hard and consistently. I was just reading the book The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch where, in one of the chapters, he talks about how studies have shown that there is a growing sense of entitlement among today's youth. As a result, many are unwilling to do these routes either because it is hard work or they feel the work is beneath them. I agree with the lesson that Randy learned from his father who taught him that manual labor is beneath no one. That is one reason why I don't mind doing the paper routes even though I have a college degree. I think it sets a great example of hard work for my children.

I still think a paper route is a great way for kids to learn responsibility and to be dependable.

2. Corporate Failure to Support Substitutes

Due to the difficulties of finding good, quality carriers that last for a long time, we substitutes are a necessary evil that the District Managers are extremely grateful for. Unfortunately, that gratitude does not extend upward into the higher corporate levels.

District Managers have openly admitted that the overall corporate attitude is that, in spite of our assistance and support with the difficulties of high turnover of carriers, a substitute should be done away with as soon as possible. They fail to recognize the value of good substitutes in that they minimize customer loss by maintaining, and oftentimes improving upon, customer service and delivery until a permanent carrier can be found to fill the route again. They just want us gone altogether.

Until that happens, it would appear that the corporate executives wish to make our work and getting paid for our work as difficult as possible. They have instituted the use of constantly changing contracts, attempted to shift company costs to the substitutes, and refused to make payments for certain services we provide that we were being paid for in the past. It has made my life and that of the District Managers who employ my services very difficult. There was even a point this past summer where I was owed over $1,500 for work I had done and the Herald was refusing to pay due to the fact that they changed contract requirements after I had performed the work.

Fortunately, I have learned when I need to stand firm on issues and when I need to dance the corporate paperwork dance to keep getting paid on a regular basis. I have developed a pretty good working relationship with the District Managers in order to keep myself informed and ahead of the corporate games so as to avoid unnecessary difficulty. It is really unfortunate this attitude that they have chosen to have towards the very people that are trying to help them. It has damaged my relationship with the Tri-City Herald to the point that I have started working in a new direction to transition out of delivery service without disrupting service to you as a customer. This new direction is working with the telecommunications provider endorsed by Donald Trump. It is an exciting opportunity and I would love to share what I am doing with you. Click here for more information about an amazing offer that ends Nov. 30 and for a link to my website.

3. Failure to Forward Tips

This, I feel, is the largest abuse of the Herald's relationship with their customers and one that you should be aware of. Typically, when a customer makes a payment directly to the Tri-City Herald with a tip included, the Herald will forward the tip on to the carrier. This is not the case when there is a substitute on a route. The tips that you pay into the Herald do not go to the substitute carrier that is currently delivering your newspaper - the Herald keeps them!

Denis Waitley taught me that the word "tip" stands for To Insure Performance. Because of this Denis actually advocates giving a tip in advance rather than after good service has been given. Well, as of right now, your tips are only insuring the performance of the Tri-City Herald balance sheet right now.

I do not tell you this to try and solicit tips from you. I work hard to make the amount of money that I make and am appreciative of my health and ability to do so and I appreciate the compensation I receive for my efforts. I have had the added pleasure of meeting some of you in the early hours and have appreciated your kind expressions of satisfaction in my level of service both in your words and in the tips handed to me. I have even managed to spot a rare "To the TCH Carrier" envelope taped to a door or propped up on the edge of the porch where I would see it. Again I thank you for your generosity and thoughtfulness. (If I have missed other generous offerings, I do apologize. I can only think that I overlooked it due to the pace that I keep and the darkness of the morning.) Nor do I tell you this to try and upset you to the point of canceling your subscription or of making angry phone calls into the Tri-City Herald as both of those could make a significant impact on my income. I just want to make you aware of the situation so that you can determine whether the tips you choose to pay go to the carrier or the company.

I do not know how long I will be a substitute on your route, but you can always check this blog to find out. I will post route changes as the occur as well as maintain a side section that is labeled "Nice Guy Delivery" where you can check to see if your address falls in my current delivery area (A good reference, too, if you notice changes in the quality of the service you are receiving. You can check to see if it is me or someone else). If I am still delivering to you and you wish to leave me a tip, you may e-mail me at niceguyblogging@hotmail.com and leave me instructions of where to look for the envelope. Otherwise, you can call the Tri-City Herald at (509) 586-2138 during their office hours and instruct them to leave a comment on the "top sheet" for the route with said instructions. This method will actually work whether I am your carrier or whether somebody else is.

These are the three areas where I feel the Tri-City Herald has failed to deliver to you as a paying customer. For the most part, I have no control over these situations, but I will continue to do what I can to minimize the impact of these difficulties where I can.

A Small Favor

If you have read this far in the blog, I appreciate you taking the time to come by and see what I have to say and invite you to come back again soon. I do have one last favor to ask of my Tri-City Herald customers and I hope you do not mind me asking. During the winter months, sidewalks and porches are filled with decorations and/or become wet and slick at times. Please leave a porch light on to insure my safety, to protect your decorations from damage, to keep your paper dry, and to enable me to deliver to your doorways more accurately. I would really appreciate it.

Thank you again for visiting my blog and I hope to see you here again. Don't forget to click here to read about the details of the awesome telecommunications offer that expires this month. You can also click here to find out more about the company I am working with and some different ways that I may serve you. If something peaks your interest, e-mail me at niceguyblogging@hotmail.com with your name and number to allow me the opportunity to discuss those interests further. Have a great day!

What to do when you feel powerless...

Chuck Noland: We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'Cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over nothing. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

Castaway

A Tribute

This was a post that I wanted to do last week, but, due to the craziness that life sometimes is, I never managed to get it done. I want to make up for that today.

I have been under the influence of some amazing people throughout my life. I have wonderful parents that raised and taught me the best they could. I have had wonderful school teachers that drove me and inspired me to achieve. I have had great sports coaches that taught me the fundamentals and instilled in me the drive to win (although my dad still claims full credit for everything I know on the basketball court). I have had incredible Christ-like examples in the church that taught me the meaning of faith, charity and service. I have had mentors and teachers in the areas of business and personal development that have inspired me to dream big and to go for the things that I want in life. I have had loving girlfriends (before I was married, of course), loyal friends, great coworkers and a number of acquaintances throughout my life. And all of these have made an incredible impact on my life and helped make me the man that I am today. But none of these, individually or collectively, have had near the impact and influence in my life than the incredible woman that I am proud to call my wife.

I met my wife at the end of August in 1996 at the church were a group of young single adults had gathered to play volleyball. I was usually one of the first to show up, but I came late that night for some reason. I was speaking to a friend of mine in the doorway to the gym when I noticed her out on the volleyball court. It wasn't because she was an incredible volleyball player (she is the first to admit that she is much more adept at dodging the ball than she is hitting it), but there was something about her that caught my attention. She wasn't the drop-dead gorgeous type, but she was adorable. I could see she loved to laugh and have fun and had the dazzling smile to prove it. Unfortunately, it was also apparent that she was not there alone.

I soon joined in the games and was having a good time, but after a while I needed some time alone to deal with some thoughts that were weighing on me. I slipped off into one of the rooms where there was a piano and "practiced" playing for a while (meaning plunking out the notes to the only three songs I ever taught myself). What I did not know at the time was that she had noticed me, too, and, after a while, noticed my absence. Under the guise of needing a drink of water, she went looking for me. She heard my feeble attempts at playing and peeked in the door wondering if I was the one at the keys when she promptly embarrassed the both of us - me by my finding out that someone was watching me play and her by my catching her watching me.

Surprisingly, she didn't run away (don't the beauties always run from the beasts at first?). She boldly walked in and introduced herself and we met for the first time. I quickly embarrassed myself for the second time that evening by forgetting her name (I swear it wasn't because I wasn't paying attention - I was just stunned by the fact that such a lovely young lady was speaking to me), but she happened to forget mine as well (which is okay because I am really not the memorable).

Nobody has ever accused me of moving too fast, so I didn't ask her out on a first date for a good week and a half (that is a great Law of Attraction story if you ever want to hear it). From that point on, we were nearly inseparable as we saw each other pretty much every day. A month and three days after our first date, I asked her to be my wife and amazingly she said, "Yes!" Then, on December 14, 1996, 3 months and 18 days from the day that I first set my eyes on this incredible woman, I married her in the Portland, Oregon temple for time and all eternity!

I couldn't have asked for a better wife than her. She is my best friend and partner in all things. She is a wonderful mother who has gone to death's door three times to bring three wonderful children into this world and nearly stepped through that door due to a pregnancy that would never come to fruition. She is one of the hardest working women that I know and is building an incredibly successful business that allows her to be home with her children through her efforts (most people don't realize how hard she works because she has so much fun doing it).

She is a loving and caring friend who attracts wonderful women to her (Yes, M.L., M.E., A.J., L.F. and K.W. - this means you). I have seen her shed tears over the loss of friends over what I believe to be petty jealousy and unfairly judgmental attitudes. My wife has a strong desire to do those things that are right, no matter how appealing the alternative may be. This has put her at odds unfortunately with those who get uncomfortable around her because they prefer to do what is easy or popular. It hurts her deeply; particularly when some of these women have ruined other relationships my wife has had with other women and even the possibility of a relationship through their mean-spirited gossip and ridicule. But I am extremely proud of my wife and how she has born these difficulties. It has never been easy for her, but she valiantly strives to emulate the Savior and show genuine Christ-like love to even those who have abused her in this way.

My wife loves to serve others. She is not an early riser, but she will drag herself out of bed to make me breakfast and pack me a lunch before I head off to work. When there is a friend or family member in need, she always puts herself forward to help when she is able and feels terrible when she is not able to do so. She sometimes volunteers to the point of overextending herself, but that is simply more evidence of her love for other people.

She also has somewhat of a daring and adventurous spirit. She recently took me on a vacation to a bed & breakfast (something she loves) in Hayden, ID which is right next to Silverwood (something I love). The whole trip was incredible! She consented to taking one trip on the Tremors roller coaster with me when roller coasters are REALLY NOT HER THING. She has a little bit of a fear of heights and sudden death by a car derailing at high speeds. But she went on it with me when I asked her to.

She later confessed that when she looked at the picture of the ride, she didn't realize how big it was because she didn't recognize over 50% of the track as being part of the ride. They take a picture about halfway through the ride and while everyone else looks like they are laughing and having a good time, she is the only one that looks genuinely terrified. She said it took everything in her to keep from breaking down and bawling when it was over and her legs were all weak and rubbery when she got off. She swears she will never step foot on a roller coaster like that again, but I am proud of her facing her fear like that and some of the other risks she took with me that day.

She is also a wonderful example of gratitude and appreciation. She just had a birthday on the 6th of this month (I know I am not supposed to reveal a woman's age so I will simply say that she is older than 20 and younger than ... 33) and the boys and I only bought her two simple gifts - a DVD and an IPod. I can't tell you how many times in the last four days that she has thanked us and expressed how much she loves her gifts, particularly the IPod (I learned through the examples of my parents the importance of listening when a woman expresses an interest in something - she mentioned the IPod months ago and she totally was not expecting it when her birthday came around. Surprise!).

She has become an amazing example of achievement and what is possible if you dedicate yourself to a goal and stick with it no matter how difficult or frustrating it may get. In the past year, she has lost over 60 pounds, something she has been struggling with for ten years now. It has done wonders for her self-esteem and her self-confidence to achieve such a major goal and that victory has translated into other areas of her life.

I could go on and on and on about how remarkable she is. But let me just finish this by saying that I love her dearly. In the past twelve years that I have known her and the nearly twelve years that I have been married to her, I have had the pleasure of watching her grow and develop from the wonderful woman she was back then to the marvelous woman she is today. And, in turn, she has helped me grow and develop as well. As amazing as it is and as impossible as it may seem, I love her more and more each and every day. She is much, much more than I ever would have dreamed of in a wife.


My friends, if you have read this post, I ask you to do me one simple favor. I want her to receive "Happy Birthday" wishes from all over the world. Wherever you are, near or far, please take a moment to click on her blog and on her last post (yes, I know she hasn't posted in two months now) leave her a comment. Wish her "Happy Birthday", remind her that her husband loves her very much and tell her what an amazing woman she is. She would love it and I would very much appreciate you doing this small kindness!

Nice Produce!

My wife was telling me last night how observant J3, our youngest son, is becoming. He just happened to notice yesterday that mommy's body is a little bit different than the rest of the people in our house. He had just turned 3 years old on Halloween and was obviously still very much in the spirit of the season when he pointed to my wife's chest and said, "Mommy, pumpkins!"

Halloween Hauntings!

Madame Leota: Whom do you seek?

Jim: I am seeking a way outta here.

Madame Leota: Then you must look within.

Jim: I don't wanna look within, I wanna look without! Are you deaf?

The Haunted Mansion

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Unstoppable Urges

Anna Valerious: What are these things?

Van Helsing: I think they're Dracula's children.

Anna Valerious: His children?

Van Helsing: A man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundred years?

Van Helsing


Apparently, a guy doesn't have to have a heartbeat for a woman to get his blood pumping.

Not As Tough As He Thought

My middle son, J2, is our little tough guy. He loves monsters and scary movies at the age of 5, where his 10-year old brother, J1, won't watch them because they give him nightmares.

I was watching The Incredible Hulk with my wife one night (see my previous post) and J2 was in the room with us. All the Hulk-ing out and roaring and smashing didn't even phase him. In fact, he loved it. He thought it was great.

But there was one point in the movie where he was suddenly clutching my leg tightly and whimpering a little bit and there wasn't a monster in sight.

What was happening was that a character in the movie was getting some injections, including one by a large needle that was being inserted quite forcefully into the characters spine. At that point, J2 looked up at me with his pleading blue eyes and said, "I don't want them to stick a needle in my back."

My wife and I did our best to not laugh while we reassured him that nobody was going to stick a needle in his back and that it was only pretend in the movie. I guess our little guy has his limits when it comes to toughness.

Anger Management

Betty Ross: [Betty and Bruce need to get across town in New York City] The subway is probably quickest.

Bruce Banner: Me in a metal tube, deep underground with hundreds of people in the most aggressive city in the world?

Betty Ross: Right. Let's get a cab.

The Incredible Hulk


This turned out to be an excellent movie! I wasn't sure that I wanted to see it after the first Hulk movie being such a disappointment, but I went ahead and watched it - and I was glad that I did. The CGI in this movie is better and a little more realistic than the last. While you can still see it is CGI, it is darker and grittier so that it doesn't look so cartoonish.

The cast they assembled for this film did an excellent job in their individual roles. From what I have read, Edward Norton and Liv Tyler spent hours in conversation about the relationship they would have on-screen and Norton made several changes to the screenplay to incorporate their ideas to make it more "real" in its portrayal. I also thought that William Hurt did an awesome job as General Ross and really delivered in his portrayal of a man who sacrifices nearly everything for "the job".

As with any Marvel film, Stan Lee makes his cameo appearance and Lou Ferrigno, the original Hulk from the 1970's television series, makes an appearance as a college guard and does the voice of the Hulk for the movie. My wife and I didn't not recognize Lou at first, but when he made his appearance in the movie we both remarked on how incredibly muscular the guard seemed for a campus guard. So, even after all these years, Lou is still a bit of a Hulk.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, I highly recommend you give it a shot. And watch for the scene following the quote I shared above. It sets up a great comic moment for Tyler!

Classified!

Jack: I went back to check some of my own personal files, and they'd been classified. These are my files!

Alison: It's not my fault that there are things about yourself that you're just not cleared to know.

Jack: Yeah, I'd hate to stumble across something that if I told me I'd have to kill me.

Eureka: Before I Forget episode



I love this show! It is one of my all-time favorites!

Let's Play!

I don't ever recall actually seeing this movie, but I really like the simple truthfulness of this quote:

Mr. Bloom: The day we stop playing is the day we start getting old. Start watching the clock. Waiting for the days to hurry up and end. Counting the years.

Twilight Zone: The Movie

Visualizing Something Better

Mutt Williams: [as Indy sinks in a quicksand-esque substance, he is passed a long snake] Grab on! It's a rat snake!

Indiana Jones: Rat snakes aren't that big!

Mutt Williams: Well this one is, all right? It's not even poisonous! Now grab on!

Indiana Jones: Go get something else!

Mutt Williams: Like what?

Indiana Jones: Like a rope or something!

Mutt Williams: There's no Sears & Roebuck here! Grab the snake!

Indiana Jones: Maybe I can touch the bottom.

Marion Ravenwood: There is no bottom! Now grab it! Grab the snake!

Indiana Jones: I think I can feel it with my feet

Mutt Williams: Grab the snake!

Indiana Jones: Stop calling it that!

Mutt Williams: It's a snake, what do you want me to call it?!

Indiana Jones: A rope!

Mutt Williams: What?

Indiana Jones: Say "Grab the rope"!

Mutt Williams, Marion Ravenwood: Grab the rope!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The Little, White Lie

Elsa: It's perfectly obvious where the pages are. He's given them to Marcus Brody.

Professor Henry Jones: Marcus? You didn't drag poor Marcus along did you? He's not up to the challenge.

Walter Donovan: He sticks out like a sore thumb. We'll find him.

Indiana Jones: The hell you will. He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.

[Cut to middle of fair in the Middle East, Marcus Brody wearing a bright suit and white hat, sticking out like sore thumb]
Marcus Brody: Uhhh, does anyone here speak English?

[Back at the castle, Indiana and Henry are tied up]
Indiana Jones: Come on, dad. Help me get us out of here. We have to get to Marcus before the Nazis do.

Professor Henry Jones: But you said he had a two day head start. That he would blend in, disappear.

Indiana Jones: Are you kidding? I made all that up. You know Marcus. He once got lost in his own museum.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Who Are You Calling Funny Looking?

Willie: Aren't you gonna introduce us?

Lao Che: This is Willie Scott; this is Indiana Jones, a famous archaeologist.

Willie: Well I always thought that archaeologists were always funny looking men going around looking for their mommies.

Indiana Jones: Mummies.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

A Little Monkey Business

Indiana: Do we need the monkey?

Marion: I'm surprised at you. Talking that way about our baby. He's got your looks, too.

Indiana: And your brains.

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Hooked On Phonics

I heard this joke the other morning on the radio and thought it was pretty funny. I thought you might enjoy it, too.

A teacher was looking over her lesson plans at her desk as the children were looking through books about animals. She heard one of the children say to another, "Hey, look! It's a frickin' elephant!"

Her head shot up at this and she asked, "What did you just say?"

"It's a frickin' elephant," the child repeated.

"Johnny," she explained kindly, "we don't talk like that in this classroom."

"But that is what the book says it is: a frickin' elephant," Johnny replied in his defense.

Suspecting that a mischevious child must have written the word in the book, the teacher asked Johnny to bring the book to her thinking that she could just erase it. When Johnny showed her the book, however, she saw that there was nothing to erase because the caption below the picture did say ... African Elephant.

World-Changing Legislation

You may not be aware of it, but there is a piece of legislation in committee that is attempting to reduce the amount of complaining that goes on in the U.S. Click HERE to read my posting on how you can support it and what it can do for you!

Smooooth!

George McFly: Lorraine, my density has bought me to you.

Lorraine Baines: What?

George McFly: Oh, what I meant to say was...

Lorraine Baines: Wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere?

George McFly: Yes. Yes. I'm George, George McFly. I'm your density. I mean... your destiny.

Back to the Future

The man has a way with words, doesn't he?

Don't Be A Goob!

Lewis: I don't even know what I'm doing.

Wilbur: Keep moving forward.

Lewis: I mean, this stuff is way too advanced for me.

Wilbur: Keep moving forward.

Lewis: And what if I can't fix this, what are we going to do?

Wilbur: Keep moving forward.

Lewis: Why do you keep saying that? And don't just say keep moving forward!

Wilbur: It's my dad's motto.

Lewis: Why would his motto be keep moving forward?

Wilbur: It's what he does.

Meet the Robinsons



I love this movie, partly because of its entertainment value, but primarily because of the message it delivers. Here is an aspiring inventor whose inventions never seem to work out the way he plans. In fact, more often than not, they explode. And to top it all off, his mother abandoned him on the doorstep of an orphanage when he was a baby and nobody seems willing to adopt him. He has had well over 100 adoption interviews and, so far, no takers. He is frustrated and fed up and has lost all faith in himself and his abilities.

Do you ever feel like that? Like, no matter how hard you try, things never work out the way you plan and so you might as well give up? Do you ever feel like the entire universe is conspiring against you to hold you down? I know I have. In fact, I felt as if I could point to numerous pieces of evidence that demonstrated that I had been put on this earth simply for God's amusement so that He could see just how much disaster and heartbreak he could heap upon a single man before I would completely cave in.

Wilbur encourages Lewis with his dad's motto, "Keep moving forward!", but Lewis doesn't really get it until the villain catches up to him and explains just how Lewis had ruined his whole life:

Lewis: Goob, I had no idea!

Bowler Hat Guy: Shut up! And don't call me "Goob"! How many evil villains do you know that can pull off a name like "Goob"? Bleh!

Lewis: Look, I'm sorry your life turned out so bad. But don't blame me you messed it up yourself. You just focused on the bad stuff when all you had to do was... let go of the past and keep moving forward...

Bowler Hat Guy: Hmm, let's see... take responsibility for my own life or blame you? Dingdingdingdingding! Blame you wins hands down!

It is an easy trap to fall into when we start blaming others, the environment, the economy or even God for all the trouble in our lives. But one thing that I have learned is that when we play the "blame game" we give up our power over the situation. We surrender our ability to learn and grow and overcome the difficulty that stands in our way. And then, to make matters worse, we relive these failures over and over in our minds, making ourselves mental martyrs, as we constantly remind ourselves why our lives are so awful and why it isn't our fault.

And while we are busy doing that, great opportunities are passing us by and we only see them once they are fading off into the distance as we recognize that those opportunities could have been ours but now it is too late. So now we have a whole new set of complaints that we can blame on others, the environment, the economy or God and we get locked into a vicious circle of blaming and complaining.

It is important to let go of past frustrations and failures. One way to do that is to remember a very simple truth:

There is no such thing as failure - only feedback.

What that means is that when something doesn't go right, it is only feedback about whether or not our approach is working or not. We just need to make the small corrections necessary and keep moving forward. Little kids are great at this.

In my house, we have a long, narrow kitchen in which the cutting board is constantly pulled out because we were slicing or spreading something there and it often does not get pushed back in. My youngest is notorious for running or even just walking through the kitchen and catching the corner of that cutting board right in the head. Depending on the speed he is traveling, he may cry for a couple seconds and then come get a hug or he may simply rub the sore spot and move on. The next time through the kitchen, even when he is distracted in playing with his older brother, it is interesting to observe how just a step before he gets to the cutting board he will suddenly veer away or duck his head to the side without even consciously thinking about it and keeps moving forward. In that one moment, he has learned that traveling this path is painful and with just a small adjustment he can avoid future painful experiences.

Why does he do this? Why doesn't he blame the cutting board for being so hard? Why doesn't he blame his mother, father or brothers for leaving it out? Why doesn't he blame the home builders for not installing safety strobe lights to warn him when it is sticking out from the counter? Why doesn't he blame God for allowing him to get hurt that way? These questions may seem silly, but it is simply to illustrate that he hasn't learned the "blame game" yet like you and I have. Someday I hope he learns that the kitchen isn't exactly a safe place to play, but I hope he never learns the "blame game". I know the chances of that are slim, but I hope at least chooses not to play it.

And that is the point right there - we all have a choice! We can focus on the bad stuff that has happened to us in the past or we can look to the future, open a new door and keep moving forward.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
~ Walt Disney

The only thing in this world that can stop you is you! So, don't be a goob! Just keep moving forward!!!

-----------------------------------------------

I know that sometimes we get depressed and we want to wallow in our self-pity and we want to blame our difficulties on someone or something else. I understand that because I feel that way at times, too. What really helps me is to get a little perspective on how bad things really are. The next time you feel that way, I recommend you do some research on W. Mitchell. Read about his life experiences in this Parade Magazine article and then read his personal advice in the articles on his website. It might help you come to the realization that things really aren't so bad after all and only you have the power to make them better.

My Memory Bank

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

"That doesn' t have anything to do with it," he replied.

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

"It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Let's Be Foolish

Kurt Godel: I would rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.

I.Q.

Since the production of The Secret in 2006, the Law of Attraction (LOA) has been a hot topic on talk shows, in articles and among friends and family all over the world. LOA, in its most basic form, says that we attract into our lives that which we focus on. If your focus is primarily on how terrible your life is, you will attract terrible experiences to you. If you focus on how great each and every day is, you will attract great experiences each and every day.

I don't know what your personal take is on LOA, but I am a believer in it. That is one reason why the quote above me describes my personal philosophy so perfectly. I would rather think optimistic and happy thoughts and be considered a fool by the general populace than be a grumpy, bitter pessimist waiting for that moment when I can shout to the world, "See? I told you! The world is going to H - E - Double Hockey Sticks in a handbasket just like I told you it would!" Do you really want to live your life like that?

I love being an optimist!

• Being optimistic makes me excited to get up every morning just so I can see what wonders and miracles are in store for me that day.

• A pessimist hates having to wake up to another dreary, disappointing morning.

• As an optimist I am more aware of and constantly looking for beautiful things that I may encounter throughout the day that add to my joy of living.

• Pessimists see the litter and garbage.

• My optimistic nature opens me up to look for opportunties to improve my life and the lives of those around me.

• The pessimists can't see any hope for improvement and constantly reaffirm how bad things are.

• Optimists are more ready to take risks and, win or lose, learn and grow by the experience.

• Pessimists don't dare take the risk because it will never work out.

• Optimists say, "I can do it!"

• Pessimists say, "I don't stand a chance."

There are many more ways we could illustrate the differences between optimists and pessimists. But each and every example points out how pessimists miss out on the joys of life. You don't want that, do you?

Come on! Let's be foolish!

Beating Back Adversity

Hardy Greaves: [Talking about his father] He's sweeping streets, Junuh, in the middle of Savannah where everybody can see him; me, my friends and everybody.

Rannulph Junuh: You feeling sorry because your daddy sweeps streets?

Hardy Greaves: He ain't the only man who can't get work. Wilbur's dad can't neither. But he says he'd rather do nothing than something beneath his dignity.

Rannulph Junuh: Grow up Hardy!

Hardy Greaves: It ain't time for me to grow up, Mr. Junuh.

Rannulph Junuh: You're daddy is out sweeping streets because he took every last dime he had, and used it to pay up every man and woman he owed and every business who worked for him, instead of declaring bankruptcy like everyone else in town, including your best friend Wilbur Charles' dad, Raymond, which is why he's able to sit around all day long on his dignity! You're daddy stared adversity in the eye, Hardy. And he beat it back with a broom.

The Legend of Bagger Vance

My wife may not like me sharing this with you as it is a personal and emotional issue, but there was a time in the not-so-distant past where our family had fallen on hard times. Bad financial decisions in the early years of our marriage compounded by a plethora of medical problems that struck our small family all within in a few short years left us deep in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. I worked for a small construction company for seven years, staying loyal and working hard in hopes that as we improved the financial standing of the business our personal financial standing would improve as well. In six year's time, the business did grow and improve significantly and enormous bonus checks were given to a couple of "favorite" employees while we were given the smallest bonus check of all (2.5 times smaller than the boss's son's friend that had only been there for a few months). I stayed on another year until the bonus situation repeated itself and I decided to go somewhere where loyalty and hard work were both appreciated and rewarded. Unfortunately, the damage was already done.

Shortly after I had switched jobs, we quickly realized that our bills were burying us. With our families in similar financial situations but with fewer dependants, we were unable to call on any of them for help. We set up an appointment to visit with Consumer Credit Services to find out if they could see some possibilities that we were blind to. The people there were very nice and understanding, reassuring us that they would see if they could help us set up a plan to weather the storm. Unfortunately, once we laid out all the details, their only recommendation was the only one that neither of us wanted: bankruptcy!

My poor wife, already severely stressed out by the situation as it was, started to tear up as the counselor outlined our bankruptcy options and how we would need to proceed. I, on the other hand, felt myself strangely detached from the situation. It was almost as if I were watching and listening the meeting from a distance. A strong feeling of peace flowed into me. And through that spiritual experience I received a reassurance that we were going to be just fine.

While the counselor continued to explain things to my wife, my mind started to race and I quickly formulated a plan of my own. The details fell into place quickly and I sat through the rest of the appointment just smiling politely at the counselor. I thanked her at the end and told her we needed some time to discuss what we were going to do before we acted, which she understood (although not in the way that I intended), and I ushered my tearful wife out of the office.

In the parking lot I tried to console my wife and let her know what had just happened, detailing the basics of the plan that I had just formulated. Understandably, she was still overwhelmed by what she had just heard and didn't see the hope that I felt. She pointed out that a professional financial counselor just told us our only option was to declare bankruptcy - what hope was there to be had? I simply told her that the counselor only knew statistics and numbers - she did not know us!

That evening, I laid out my plan in greater detail and discussed it with her. She started to see the possibility and decided to trust me and put her faith in us. To make a long story short (I know - it's too late), we plugged the money pit within a couple of weeks, leveled our financial situation out in two months, and within six months had a couple thousand dollars in the bank and were making good progress on paying down our debts.

Like Hardy's father, I believe strongly in paying my debts. If I dig a hole, I don't expect someone else to come behind me and fill it in. I believe in the Golden Rule. I wouldn't like it if someone didn't pay back money that I had loaned to them, so why wouldn't I pay back the money someone loaned to me?

Hardy's father beat his adversity back with a broom. I beat mine back with a newspaper.

Keep coming back and I will tell you more about that.

The Golden Rule and Our Economic Crisis

WARNING! Serious blog topic ahead. Proceed with caution.

Every morning I catch the tail end of the AfterMidNite radio show hosted by Blair Garner. It is generally a country music show, but the last two days Blair has gotten on his soapbox a little bit about two issues that I wanted to share with you.

The first issue started with the Tuesday morning BrainBuster question which was: "Statistics show that only one in five men do this. What is it?" The answer to the question was give up their seat in. While Blair was shocked that the statistic was so low, Tim, the producer of the show that is frequently the butt of Blair's jokes and is occasionally heard laughing and commenting in the background, said he could understand why men wouldn't because these days many women will get offended if you offer her your seat or open a door for them because they feel it puts them in a subservient position. I agreed with Blair who thought that was a ridiculous reason to not do it. He went on to eventually say that it is an act of kindness and consideration and follows the golden rule. Whether they take it or not is up to them.

Blair's comment about the golden rule sparked another commentary session on this morning's show regarding the $700 billion bailout that lawmakers are trying to pass. Tim and Blair started out talking about how we, as Americans, have become a bit spoiled. We have had it so good for so long that we just want more and more and more. When money isn't readily available, we have ready access to credit cards and loans to get us all that we want right now. When we overextend ourselves, we declare bankruptcy and then start over. It is like a "get out of jail free" pass.

Corporations and banks have become exceedingly greedy these past few years. With the expanding housing market, financial decision-makers took advantage of the population's general financial awareness and engaged in subprime lending practices (the practice of giving loans to those who would not normally get them) and predatory lending practices (deliberately targeting borrowers who may not have fully understood the terms of their loan or lending to people who were never likely to afford the interest payments in the long-run). Many of these loans included exorbitant fees and hidden terms and conditions in the loans that translate to dollars for bankers.

Now that the housing bubble has burst, these practices among others have unleashed an economic crisis that is rippling through nearly every household in America and extending outward to countries around the world. And all this happens as corporate and bank executives take home multi-million dollar bonuses. Did you know that Alan H. Fishman, the newly-hired chief executive officer for Washington Mutual that was on the job less than three weeks before its crash, was given a $7.5 million signing bonus (which he gets to keep) and is eligible for $11.6 million in cash severence? At least Kerry Killinger, the previous WaMu CEO, turned down his $1.4 million bonus for 2007 due to the deteriorating situation of the bank. Fishman can walk away with up to $19.1 million for spending less than three weeks worth of his life guiding WaMu into bank failure. (I think WaMu customers got a raw deal on that one. I would have done it for only $1 million.)

I always wondered what the difference is between an executive that illegally takes millions of dollars and crashes the company like Enron and one that takes millions of dollars while legally crashing the company. They both make their decisions out of greed and self-interest. They both ultimately run their company into the ground. The only difference I can see is that one goes to jail while the other one doesn't.

The point is that all of this could be avoided if Corporate and Bank executives and even each of us, individually, followed the golden rule. How different would this be if the banks really considered the borrower and their long-term ability to pay back the loans rather than focus on the fees and the interest they would collect that would boost their annual bonus? How different would this be if they considered the long-term impact on the American economy if the housing market turned rather than expect it to be booming forever? How different would this be if we stopped throwing billions of dollars at the people who are trying to get the American people deeper and deeper in debt and actually used it to teach and help people to get out of debt?

The $700 billion bailout package that is being considered is like a "get out of jail free" card for the very people who have caused the financial crisis we are in. They get to keep their fancy houses and summer homes, their flashy sports cars and their millions of dollars they have collected creating this mess; they get to keep the job that they failed to do right! And the majority of the American people that are suffering because they got greedy get the tax bill that is going to result because of this.

I don't know about you, but I prefer to get what I pay for. Did you know that if you applied the $700 billion to every existing mortgage on the books today, you would pay down over $20,000 on each and every one? If you took every mortgage under $75,000 that is currently on the books (my mortgage does not fall into that category) that $700 billion would pay them all off completely!

I would prefer not to spend the $700 billion at all and follow a better plan to work our way out of this. Dave Ramsey has an opinion on how we can fix this without putting our nation deeper in debt. See Dave's 3 Steps to Change the Nation's Future and read all of it, including The Common Sense Fix proposal.

Now I did mention that each of us need to follow the golden rule as well. Do you have any idea how much smaller our nation's deficit would be if none of us cheated on our taxes? Do you have any idea how much different your children's lives would be if you set the example of living within your means, paying off your debts and avoiding bankruptcy by any and all means possible? I am sure there are other examples to apply the golden rule to and it is definitely something worth thinking about.

There is no doubt that financial hard times lay ahead for our nation, but if we use the golden rule as a guideline and look at the long-term effects of our decisions rather than settle for band-aid solutions that will fail to stick in the long run, we can weather the storm and make things better all around.

Inspired Scripture Reading

Have you ever heard the story of the man who was having a difficult time in his life and decided to look for an answer in the Bible? He decided that he would close his eyes, open upon the scriptures, stick his finger in the book, read the verse that his finger touched and do whatever the verse said to do. What can be more inspired than that? Well, when he opened the book and blindly selected a verse, he read:

"And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself."
~ Matthew 27:5

Somewhat shaken by this, he quickly determined that he needed a better course of action than that. So he decided to give it one more shot. He closed his eyes, opened the book again, stuck his finger in and read the following verse:

"...Go, and do thou likewise."
~ Luke 10:37

My wife and I had a similar experience last night. We were headed to bed a little later than I had planned, but my wife was feeling very amorous. As she made her intentions quite clear, I had to gently refuse as I was going to be getting less than five hours of sleep and I was already pretty run down. She understood and we decided we had better read scriptures and pray really quick so I could get some rest.

I asked her if she had any favorite passages she would like to read that night and she didn't, so we decided to give the inspired method a shot, much like the man above. I happened to open up to the Book of Mormon and both of our eyes fell on the center of the exact same verse where we both read:

"...In the name of the Almighty God, I command you that ye touch me not...."
~ 1 Nephi 17:48

We both burst out into laughter at the timing of that "inspired" bit of scripture. We decided to tempt fate as the man above did and give it a second shot. Our results were far better than his:

"Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen."
~ Mosiah 5:15

Hero-Worship

Homer: [to John] Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as tough. I only hope I can be as good a man as you. Sure, Wernher von Braun is a great scientist, but he isn't my hero.


October Sky

Being a parent is never an easy job. It is hard to find the balance between giving your kids wings to fly and making sure they don't try to fly so far and so fast that they crash and burn. We have to give them guidelines and rules and allow them to suffer the consequences of breaking those rules, all the while praying that they don't end up resenting you someday for it. I don't think there is a more gratifying moment for a parent than when their child says that, out of all the incredible people in this world that inspired them to be who they are, their parent is their hero.

I have three little boys and I have to admit that I get a boost of pride when one of them says, every now and then, that they want to grow up to be just like me. Being fully aware of my own faults and fallacies, I usually respond by saying, "Thank you, son, but I hope you are better."

Whatever You Do ... Don't Try!

Morpheus: What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.

The Matrix

This quote is closely tied to something I was blogging about yesterday on my blog for The Millionaire Marathon. In this scene, Neo has just "downloaded" a number of martial arts programs and Morpheus is sparring with him in a secure program patterned after the matrix to see how good Neo is and to teach him more about himself and the actual matrix. No matter how hard Neo fights, he just can't seem to get past Morpheus's defenses.

It may seem like Morpheus is taunting Neo a bit, but he is actually trying to teach him a lesson we all need to understand. We have programmed ourselves to believe that there is a limit for each area of our lives. We are only so strong, only so fast, only so smart, only so capable, etc. And we have proved to ourselves that those limits are accurate by hitting them repeatedly and being stopped by those limits. And whenever we come up against something that lies beyond those limits, we try to accomplish it and fail in the attempt.

I went to a seminar once with my wife that was arranged by Mary Kay and the speaker said something that has always stuck with me. He pointed out that trying is simply failing with honor. When we are faced with something that seems outside our recognized limits, we try to do it so that when we do fail we at least have the honor of saying "I tried". We all need to take the advice of a short, green, muppet-like mentor who instructed us in a better way:

"Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
~ Yoda
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

The truth is that the limits never stopped us, we stopped ourselves - we quit - when we hit those limits. The only place those limits exist are in our minds. We are capable of doing far more on every level of our lives than we ever believed we could. All it takes is a little extra effort, a little more perseverence to improve just 1% or go 1 step beyond our previous limit. And if you do that once, you know you can do it again.

So whatever you are trying to do, stop trying and just do it!

A World-Changing Story

My last post reminded me of the following story. So here is a little bonus posting for you:


Love And The Cabbie

I was in New York the other day and rode with a friend in a taxi. When we got out, my friend said to the driver, "Thank you for the ride. You did a superb job of driving."

The taxi driver was stunned for a second. Then he said, "Are you a wise guy or something?"

"No, my dear man, and I'm not putting you on. I admire the way you keep cool in heavy traffic."

"Yeah," the driver said and drove off.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

I am trying to bring love back to New York," he said. "I believe it's the only thing that can save the city."

"How can one man save New York?"

"It's not one man. I believe I have made that taxi driver's day. Suppose he has 20 fares. He's going to be nice to those 20 fares because someone was nice to him. Those fares in turn will be kinder to their employees or shopkeepers or waiters or even their own families. Eventually the goodwill could spread to at least 1,000 people. Now that isn't bad, is it?"

"But you're depending on that taxi driver to pass your goodwill to others."

"I'm not depending on it," my friend said. "I'm aware that the system isn't foolproof so I might deal with ten different people today. If out of ten I can make three happy, then eventually I can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000 more."

"It sounds good on paper," I admitted, "but I'm not sure it words in practice."

"Nothing is lost if it doesn't. It didn't take any of my time to tell that man he was doing a good job. He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller tip. If it fell on deaf ears, so what? Tomorrow there will be another taxi driver I can try to make happy."

"You're some kind of a nut," I said.

"That shows how cynical you have become. I have made a study of this. The thing that seems to be lacking, besides money of course, for our postal employees, is that no one tells people who work for the post office what a good job they're doing."

"But they're not doing a good job."

"They're not doing a good job because they feel no one cares if they do or not. Why shouldn't someone say a kind word to them?"

We were walking past a structure in the process of being built and passed five workmen eating their lunch. My friend stopped. "That's a magnificent job you men have done. It must be difficult and dangerous work."

The workmen eyed my friend suspiciously.

"When will it be finished?"

"June," a man grunted.

"Ah. That really is impressive. You must all be very proud."

We walked away. I said to him, "I haven't seen anyone like you since The Man From LaMancha."

"When those men digest my words, they will feel better for it. Somehow the city will benefit from their happiness."

"But you can't do this all alone!" I protested. "You're just one man."

"The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Making people in the city become kind again is not an easy job, but if I can enlist other people in my campaign. . ."

"You just winked at a very plain-looking woman," I said.

"Yes, I know," he replied. "And if she's a schoolteacher, her class will be in for a fantastic day."

By Art Buchwald
from Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen